Dear Fellow Starbucks Patron:

When I walk into Starbucks with my well-behaved toddler in tow, please kindly refrain from looking at me like I just took a shit in your venti non-fat half-caf latte with a shot of vanilla. It's not the end of the world. You will survive the unpleasant experience of having to be in the same room as someone under the age of two, I promise. What's that? His talking is bothering you, even though you can't even hear it because you're wearing headphones and pretending to read The World's Most Important Book while giving me dirty looks? Get over yourself. A.) He's not talking any louder than the chick on her cell phone two tables over and B.) He's WAY more entertaining than her. Seriously. Oh, and here's a little news flash for you: Starbucks is not a library. People are allowed to talk. Maybe I should repeat that, because a lot of people don't seem to understand it: STARBUCKS IS NOT A LIBRARY. So, kindly keep your dirty looks to yourself. Thank you . Buh-bye.

Kristi