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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

My, what sparkly feet you have!

Eric thinks that cats poop in a "glitter box." Tee hee.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

File this one under the category of "Measure Twice, Cut Once"

Should've just made it a "No Parkin'" sign...

Ain't no parkin' here, you hear?

Sorry about the crappy quality...I kind of figured they had a no picture takin' rule as well.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Bulking up.

So, I'm sitting here on this fine Friday night, and I'm just now getting around to eating dinner. I decided on a Kashi frozen dinner that I picked up at Target the other day. They looked decent, fairly healthy and, although they're a bit pricey, there was some promotion where they were on sale 4 for $11, but if you buy 4, you get a $5.00 gift card when you check out. So I decided to buy some. I think I tried one in the past, but to be honest, I really don't remember much about it. Tonight I went with the chicken florentine, which boasted 5 grams of fiber and a whopping 22 grams of protein. I started eating and thought, OK the flavor is pretty good. I'm eating some actual vegetables here, which is good. But something was amiss. I kept eating and finally it dawned on me. I'm eating cardboard. Chicken florentine flavored cardboard. I mean, don't get me wrong--it's tasty and I'm sure they use high quality ingredients and all that, but, lordy, that much bulk in one little dish is a little hard to work through. Hopefully the other flavors go down easier.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Come Hell or High Water

I WILL get home tonight, even if I have to swim across the damn Des Plaines river. Dammit. No pun intended.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Sign: Virgo. Catchphrase: It's really a shame you have to be so wrong all the time.



You know, it's not like I live and die by the astrology charts or anything like that, but I really do think those astrologers are on to something here. This is my birthchart; a lot of it is surprisingly accurate. (If you would like to make one of these for yourself, go here.)

Rising Sign is in 13 Degrees Libra.
Very attractive and popular, your charm helps you to get your own way and prevents others from getting angry with you. "Peace and harmony at all costs" is your battle cry. You always try to ameliorate or to cosmetically hide any physical ugliness or any angry feelings between people. Flashy, but not gaudy, you prefer to dress elegantly. You generally have good taste in music, art and literature. Beware of the tendency to compromise yourself in your attempt to be agreeable at all times. A bit of a social butterfly, at times you can be vain and lazy. For the most part, however, you are gracious and affectionate, and your refined and aristocratic demeanor serves as a role model to others.

Sun is in 19 Degrees Virgo. Extremely careful and cautious by nature, you value neatness and order above all else. You rigorously practice very high standards of living and conduct and you demand the same of everyone with whom you come into contact. At times, you are so supercritical that you are merely nit-picky. You are very good at practical skills and quite handy with tools of all kinds. You are also greatly concerned with hygiene, cleanliness and personal health problems. Very likely your health is much better than you think it is -- don't worry so much! Extremely methodical and analytical, you are a perfectionist -- this makes you the perfect person to carry out highly detailed, precise operations. But, at times, you pay so much attention to details that you lose sight of the larger issues.

Moon is in 10 Degrees Gemini. Restless in the extreme, you are easily bored because of your short attention span. Your emotions change rapidly and you love to talk about your feelings. Generally, you have good judgment -- your intellect controls your emotions and you do not overreact emotionally to things. A good jack-of-all-trades, you have many- sided interests and enjoy reasoning things through. With your mental agility and need for physical mobility, you are attracted to traveling and learning about other peoples and cultures. You have vivid powers of emotional self-expression - - you can be a nonstop talker. You love to share your ideas with anyone who will listen.

Mercury is in 18 Degrees Virgo. Very thorough and efficient, you pay attention to the minor but important details of any project. You are a careful thinker who can learn complicated, intricate techniques. You are attracted to practical, useful skills and are probably good at working with your hands. You are very critical of yourself and others, sometimes too much so, and you get the reputation of being a nag or of being nit-picky. Your first reaction to any situation is to try to organize, classify and analyze everything!

Venus is in 24 Degrees Virgo. You express your love and affection through selfless service to people or causes. You have a tendency to underestimate yourself and doubt your self-worth. This is very demeaning and should be avoided -- learn to love yourself as well as you do others. Your standards of perfection are very high -- you are attracted to relationships based on duty and responsibility. You are supercritical of yourself and others and, at times, prefer to be alone rather than deal with any imperfections in yourself or in those with whom you might relate.

Mars is in 22 Degrees Cancer. Your moods are very important to your overall well-being. You are confident and self-assertive when you are feeling upbeat, and you are retiring, irritable and grumpy when you get depressed about anything. Very sensitive, you wear your heart on your sleeve. You are easily angered whenever you think someone has slighted you. It is best for you to show your anger immediately and let it all out, rather than to try to hold it in or to hold grudges for a long time. You're extremely loyal and defensive of your family, neighborhood, community and culture.

Jupiter is in 26 Degrees Leo. You must be proud of all that you do in order to grow and develop. You enjoy being totally honest and aboveboard and you revel in the admiration and respect you receive from others due to your high- minded, upright way of life. Make sure, though, that your natural tendency to boast and show off is based on your actual accomplishments. Don't fall prey to self-exaggeration or arrogance. You truly do like outrageous spectacles and grand jolly times and will go out of your way to make them a reality.

Saturn is in 17 Degrees Virgo. Your life must be orderly and practical and full of known and familiar routines in order for you to feel comfortable with yourself. Be careful, however, not to let "order" become the be-all and end-all of your life, or you may become cold, crass and unfeeling. Doing useful, practical things boosts your self- esteem. Abstract concepts and reasoning seem frivolous and a waste of time to you. You are very critical of yourself (and others), indeed at times quite self-deprecating. Try to relax a bit and allow yourself the freedom to fail once in a while. However, you probably won't fail very often because you are such a perfectionist.

Uranus is in 17 Degrees Scorpio. You, and your peer group, demand to confront life at its deepest and most meaningful levels. Very compulsive and obsessive in your approach to everything, you will avoid anything that is casual or superficial, especially when it comes to relationships. You will seek out and explore new methods of healing as well as different ways to deal with deep-seated emotional problems.

Neptune is in 17 Degrees Sagittarius. You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."

Pluto is in 17 Degrees Libra. For your entire generation, this is a time of radical changes in society's attitude toward marriage and interpersonal relationships. There is a general fear and awe at the power inherent in making emotional or contractual commitments -- they will not be entered into lightly.

N. Node is in 08 Degrees Virgo. You're usually quite at ease in leaving leadership roles in the hands of others. You would rather tend to the thousand and one details that need to be accomplished to keep any group going. Although you're very fussy and high-minded when it comes to choosing your associates, once your loyalty is given you can be trusted with many of the practical aspects of any project that is being undertaken. Usually quite unselfish, you will toil long hours in the service of any worthy cause that demands your attention. But be careful that your perfectionist tendencies don't get in the way of making real progress. (In other words, don't waste your time dusting clean shelves!)

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Most likely, if you're reading this, you already know I'm a horrible person.

An email went around my office this afternoon alerting us to the fact that the company will be purchasing a defibrillator for the office, and will offer a free four-hour training course to those who are interested in learning to use it. Apparently, there was a very positive response from my fellow co-workers (note to self: feel free to let your heart stop at work--they will know how to fix it). I, personally, have absolutely no interest in learning how to perform defibrillatio on my co-workers, or anybody for that matter. Does that make me horrible?

I simply am not cut out for administering first aid. There are plenty of things I'm good at; suturing, e.g., is not one of them. I'm fine with this. But sometimes I feel like, if I'm ever in a situation where first aid training would come in handy, I will kick myself! But then I realize, if I were in a situation where first aid training would come in handy, I will likely pass out or flail about dramatically long before I am able to pass on any useful knowledge I may have.

So, keep this in mind, dear friends. If it is your desire to have a medically helpful friend with you at all times, DO NOT CHOOSE ME AS THAT PERSON. I'm the friend you call if, say, you have a math problem that is eating away at you. Or you need to know the lyrics to any song written between 1972 and 1999. Or you need to know how to say, "Where is the chalk?" in Spanish. Or if you need directions from there to somewhere else. I'm really good at that stuff. Just please, oh please, whatever you do, do not so much as get a paper cut in my presence because I will be forced to leave you there to die.

And I wouldn't want it to come to that because I like you. I really do.

Wise beyond his years...

Last night, Eric and I were looking for his magnadoodle so we (I) could draw some pictures. We had been playing with it earlier, but when we went to look for it later, we couldn't find it anywhere. I looked all over the freaking house, but eventually gave up. This morning, Eric and I were in the kitchen making breakfast and Eric said, "Mommy! Look!" His magnadoodle was in Ella's highchair seat. Then he told me, "That was so silly that we looked EVERYWHERE last night, when we only needed to look right there!"

Also, I do have a daughter, even though you wouldn't know it by reading anything here. She does exist, though, fo' realz. She's adorable and feisty and so much different than Eric. She's tough and adventurous. She falls down a lot, but pops right back up and keeps going. She is not to be deterred. She doesn't say much right now (well, that's not quite true--she speaks her own language quite fluently, it's just that I don't understand most of it). She understands so much, though. She's totally cool; I'll have to share some Ella stories soon!

Attention ladies of the office building!

Spending copious amounts of time in the work bathroom doing your hair and makeup is suspicious.  Just so you know.  It's also annoying to your fellow bathroom users.  Thanks for keeping us in mind.  Also, it was great the way you all heeded my flip flop advice (she says, sarcastically).

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

When I'm Not Laboring...

I have more time for Slip 'n Sliding!!

Note: My toes, unable to relax even on the laziest of days, still line up like soldiers.