Wednesday, October 25, 2006


Sometimes, when I’m at work, I get an overwhelming urge to do something half-assed, because it’s a lot easier, it’s what everyone else would do, and by the time anyone figures out that it wasn’t done right in the first place, it could never be traced back to me. But I don’t give in to that urge. Maybe because I work with my mom.

That feeling reminds me of this:

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The ultimate in laziness.

I am so grateful that somebody finally invented hot dogs already in the bun, because I just don't know how much longer I could have survived the old routine of opening not only the hot dog package, but also the bun package, and then going through the whole rigamarole of trying to fit the hotdog into the bun. Talk about a time saver! It's reassuring to know that, on my death bed, I will no longer be grieving for the handful of minutes I would've given up over the course of my life, had I continued to make microwave hotdogs the conventional way. Just think of the moments I will save by not needing to fumble with twist-ties! Yes, it's true. The world is now a better place.

And also: dear lord--what is this world coming to?!?

Friday, October 13, 2006

The Kristrilogy

Chris got this "survey" from one of his friends. I thought it was pretty cool, different, and fun to I did it three times. Here are my results:

Creating the Soundtrack for the Movie of Your Life
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

A New Kristi
Opening Credits:Tiny Dancer-Elton John
Waking Up: Chiquitita-ABBA
First Day at school: The Impression that I Get-Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Falling In Love: Man on the Moon-REM
Fight Song: White Wedding-Billy Idol
Breaking Up: Ain’t Even done with the Night-The Cougar
Prom: Free Fallin’-Tom Petty
Life's OK: Let it Be-The Beatles
Mental Breakdown: Paradise City-Guns ‘N Roses
Driving: Who’ll Stop the Rain-CCR
Flashback: Pinball Wizard-The Who
Getting Back Together: Dope Nose-Weezer
Wedding: Loveshack-B-52s (Which, ironically, has been played at every wedding EVAR)
Birth of Child: Crisis King-Helmet
Final Battle: Standing Still-Jewel (I guess I'm a pacifist)
Death Scene: The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite-REM (Clearly dying in my sleep)
Funeral Song: Just a Girl-No Doubt

Kristentatious Strikes Back
Opening Credits: Wake Me Up Before you Go-Go-Wham! (If I'm ever in a band, I want that band to have an exclamation point at the end of its name!)
Waking Up: Paradise by the Dashboard Light-Meat Loaf
First Day at school: Promise-Violent Femmes
Falling In Love: Here I Go Again-Whitesnake
Fight Song: Maybe Katie-Barenaked Ladies ( out Katie?)
Breaking Up: Penny Lane-Beatles
Prom: Mama Mia-ABBA
Life's OK: Rhiannon-Fleetwood Mac
Mental Breakdown: Simple Man-Lynyrd Skynyrd
Driving: Last Hour-Elliott Smith
Flashback: Hold Me-Fleetwood Mac
Getting Back Together: We are the World-USA for Africa (Various Totally Rockin’ Artists)
Wedding: Riders on the Storm-Doors
Birth of Child: Girls Just Want to Have Fun-Cyndi Lauper (Birth? Fun? Maybe Cyndi and I need to have a talk.)
Final Battle: Can’t Stop-Red Hot Chili Peppers
Death Scene: I Heard It Through the Grapevine-Gladys Knight and the Pips
Funeral Song: Shower the People-James Taylor

Return of the Kristi(For the easy-listening crowd)
Opening Credits: Let’s Get Lost-Elloitt Smith
Waking Up: Footloose-Kenny Loggins
First Day at school: Tell Her About It-Billy Joel (one)
Falling In Love: Layla-Derek and the Dominos
Fight Song: Piano Man-Billy Joel (A. Who fights to Piano man?!? B. two)
Breaking Up: Here I go Again-Whitesnake (Interesting that I get this for falling in love and breaking up--apparently I'm a love 'em and leave 'em kind of girl...)
Prom: Take the Money and Run-Steve Miller Band
Life's OK: Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da-Beatles
Mental Breakdown: Why Can’t We Be Friends-War (It's entirely possible that wondering why we can't be friends would drive me to drink)
Driving: Dreams-Fleetwood Mac
Flashback: Ugly-Violent Femmes
Getting Back Together: Come to my Window-Melissa Etheridge
Wedding: Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door-Bob Dylan
Birth of Child: Peace Sells-Megadeth
Final Battle: Don’t Stop Believin’-Journey (Seriously, Journey. I never stop believing)
Death Scene: Uptown Girl-Billy Joel (three...Dear I-Tunes, we need to sit down and have a talk about your shuffle mechanism and why you've chosen to play 3 Billy Joel songs in rapid succession)
Funeral Song: Hard Day’s Night-Beatles

It's fun...try it. Sometimes the song doesn't make any sense at all, and sometimes its just so apropos.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Taking what they're giving...

Oh how this "work" thing interferes with my blogging. Not only do I not have much time to write anything, but I'm completely zapped of any type of creative energy. And non-creative energy, for that matter. I'm lucky if, by the time I get Eric in bed, I have enough energy to sit on the couch and do sudoku puzzles until my eyes are so dry that it's painful to blink. Sometimes, though, I just sort of sit there in a daze thinking of things that I could do if I were only more ambitious. Like that hat I started knitting right after I knit that one hat that one time, and then immediately realized that it was too itchy to wear. (I've never knit anything besides that hat. In the knitting patterns book I have, it says something like, "Don't attempt this hat until you have a few easier projects under your belt." Ha! I showed them.) Anyway, so, there's hat no. 2, which currently looks nothing like a hat, but more like maybe an inch or two of knitted yarn. There's also a plethora of scrapbooking stuff that I've bought and fully intended to use for Eric's scrapbook, which is great, and so cute, and also one page long, with that one page containing only his name. And most of the stuff I have for his scrapbook is stuff I bought before he was even born and, oh, have I ever mentioned that he's almost TWO AND A HALF?

So, what is my point, you ask? My point is this: before I worked full time, I had so much more time to think about knitting and scrapbooking and how snapshots of my life could more closely resemble a Pottery Barn catalog, if only I had infinite time and money, and well, desire to make snapshots of my life more closely resemble a Pottery Barn catalog. If I wanted to, I could've sat around for hours (where by "hours," I'm referring to 4-minute intervals) and planned out how I would make caramel corn balls, wrapped in wax paper, tied with a little black ribbon and decorated to look like a ghost, which I would then give as Halloween treats so the other neighborhood moms would think, "Oh, how darling, she's really got her act together," and would then go home and promptly throw my concoction into the garbage, because, let's face it, how do we *really* know it's safe and razor blade free? BUT INSTEAD, I don't even have time to properly punctuate, which in my book, ranks right up there on the embarrassment scale with incontinence. So, there you have it, folks. No time for punctuatin', plenty of time for rampant lunacy.

Eric says...