Monday, January 23, 2006

I'm just going to put this out there for you so y'all aren't shocked if it turns out to be true.

So, this weekend I developed this nasty hacking cough. I don't think I caught it from anybody, or am particularly contagious. It's just one of those things that tends to happen occasionally when you are a person who suffers from chronic-post-nasal-drip-for-no-apparent-reason (yes, that's the technical medical term for my particular affliction). I'm not going to get into the whose-its and what-nots of my malady, because, well, it's gross that I even mentioned it in the first place. But, I seem to have developed this side effect that's worthy of mention.

You see, I have this really sore spot in my abdomen. At first I thought I strained a muscle with all the hacking and whathaveyou. But now I think I've figured out what the problem really is. You see, this particular sore spot is directly beneath my ribcage on the left side of my body. I can point to the exact spot that hurts--it's about the size of a quarter. Yesterday that spot felt strained--today I'm actually experiencing a burning sensation. I think I remember reading somewhere that this is the exact location where the aliens implant their babies in human hosts.

That's right. I'm pretty sure I've been impregnated with an alien baby or babies. They probably burned a hole through my torso whilst I slept. Then they were able to cover the outside with a high-tech skin patch, but the inside still burns, you see? It's all making sense, right? It's a little Twilight Zone for my liking, but I guess that it's just my fate. Do you think it's ok to drink when you're hosting alien babies? Because I might need a drink over this one.

1 comment:

Anonymous said... are SO totally impregnated with an alien baby. I was watching discovery channel last night and some really smart people (more than one so they gotta be right) said they believe in other life forms out there. Except Steven Hawkings robot machine said that if we ever encounter them, they will probably hate us and destroy us because they are superior to us. So I put this onto you Kristis...what if you are the TROJAN HORSE FOR INTERGALACTIC MAYHEM?!?!?!And what if its not one baby, but a whole army of little midget aliens (MIDGET ALIENS! COOL!!)That would be unreal...but awesome. Go visit Tom Cruise..he'll give you a sonogram..he knows how to do that, you know. And, he's an alien. Best guy for the job.

~Monica =0)(not so anonymous afterall.)