Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Is it just me?

Is it too much to ask that those electronic bank signs just show me the time and temperature, and that those are preferably both accurate? Seriously. I don't need to know that I can call Guadalupe Ochoa for fabulously low car loan rates. I don't need to know that your bank offers Totally Free Checking! when I can already read that in the gigantic signs that cover each and every window of the bank. I don't need to know that you're having an Upcoming Event for New Customers last weekend. I just want to know the damn temperature. That's all.

Thinking about this reminds me of a separate but (possibly distantly) related quirk I have. When I'm driving, I always have a compulsive need to do something totally distracting and unnecessary at the worst possible moment. For instance, if I'm trying to merge onto the highway between a semi and some asshole who's trying his damnedest to make sure I don't get in front of him (even though HE'S the one who decided to drive in the merge lane), I will absolutely NEED to change my radio station right then. Or, I'm exiting at a clover-leaf interchange and somewhere in the middle of the 360-degree-turn it becomes truly ESSENTIAL that I make a phone call. Or I'm driving through a parking lot where people are walking all over the place and coming out of nowhere and there are full-fledged parking spot wars between cars and, oh my, it seems like the treble and bass on my radio are a little askew and it MUST BE FIXED. Or (and here's the connector), I'm exiting the highway to go to work and I see the temperature flash on the annoying bank sign on the other side of the expressway. Right then, while I'm decelerating and driving the windy exit ramp that ends in an abrupt merge, I just have to compare the bank sign temperature to my car's thermometer (there's a button for that mixed in with all the thermostat buttons). What can I say. I'm a weirdo.

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