Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Kiss it.

I am cutting and pasting this directly from my email from Illinois Tollway.

100 Days of Heat

Police now have motorcycles for easier access and speed enforcement in tight work zones.

Beginning Memorial Day weekend, Illinois State Police District 15 will turn up the "heat" with special enforcement details for 100 days ending with the Labor Day Holiday weekend. Called “100 Days of Heat,” the effort is a comprehensive traffic safety program during the busy summer construction and travel months. The effort includes the ongoing Operation Hard Hat details to catch speeders in work zones. That’s where police pose as construction workers with radar equipment. Systemwide efforts are also in force to ticket speeders, DUIs and overweight trucks using unmarked police cruisers, aircraft, portable weigh stations and officers on motorcycles, a first for the Illinois Tollway. And, don't forget the photo speed enforcement vans coming soon. So, the "heat" will be on this summer!

First of all, what's with the tone of excitement over all the new ways we can potentially be caught speeding by the Illinois State Police? This is not exciting! This is an impetus for mutiny!

"That’s where police pose as construction workers with radar equipment." Are you kidding me? First of all, this is Chicago, where every hour is rush hour. If by some stroke of luck I am able to speed, through a construction zone, no less, by god I'm going to be speeding. And chances are, if there's so little traffic that speeding is possible, there aint no construction happening. So, good luck with that one, Illinois Police. Secondly, there's a Village People joke in here somewhere.

And let's not overlook this: "And, don't forget the photo speed enforcement vans coming soon."

Aww, come on, you're going to be taking pictures of me? Guess it would behoove me to apply makeup as a speed down the freeway--nay, the payway. At least I'll be cute when I'm caught speeding. That always helps.

You know what I have to say to all this? Bring it, Erik Estrada. Bring the Heat. You'll never catch me. I'm crazy like a fox.

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