Thursday, October 09, 2008

Wherein I reveal that I think I am The Funny.

Sure, my kids are funny. But I really must say, they are not as funny as I am. I mean, *I* have a whole autograph book from my senior year of high school in which a great number of people wrote, "You're the funniest person ever! KIT! TTYL." So, that obviously speaks for itself. But. BUT. The only person who really knows how truly funny I am is me. And, quite often, I'm the only one around to appreciate it anyway. And even if there are others around, they usually don't appreciate it as much as I do. So, what this boils down to is that I'm a terrible comedian because laugh at my own jokes. Usually before I'm even done telling them. So, I've tried to combat that by working on my deadpan sarcasm, which, let me tell you, is misunderstood far more often that it is appreciated. ANYWAY, I don't really know how I got off on this rant about how I'm my own number one fan, but I'll give you a little example of how weird I am. Things were a little slow after lunch today at work, so I started putting together a newsletter to send out to my office re: upcoming holiday plans for the office. I was using a template in which there was a section at the bottom telling people where to direct comments or questions, and giving them an option to unsubscribe by clicking on a link. Well, this won't be a newsletter to which anyone actually subscribes. Quite the contrary, it will be maybe one step up from unsolicited erectile dysfunction spam (except for the part where I reveal when and where they need to be to claim their free holiday lunch and booze). But, I decided to leave that line in the newsletter nonetheless. And I linked it to the state Department of Employment Security website, with the locations of the unemployment offices listed on it. Did I mention I have a bit of an evil streak? My ass you'll be unsubscribing to my newsletter. And for that, I was just so pleased with myself all afternoon--like giggle-every-time-I-think-about-it pleased. I'm sure some unfunny person will make me take it out when and if the newsletter actually gets sent. But for now I'm enjoying my own antics.


Anonymous said...

That last part is so true, about the unfunny person in your office making you take it out. Because seriously, what is an office if there isn't someone to ruin your fun?

Also: you need to use paragraphs more. I almost went, "tl;dr" because of your lack of paragraph structure. You're lucky I like you.

Just sayin'.

Kristi said...

Fishy: the paragraph thing actually annoyed me too, but not so much that I went back to fix it.

The kids were eating dinner while I was typing it. Then suddenly they were all done and in my face and wanting to play and crap. So I posted as-is. With Blogger, for some reason, it is impossible for me to get the paragraphs to break the way I like unless I edit in html.

Just so you know, though, I don't condone that (lack of) paragraph structure. But I'm also secretly kind of pleased that you went, "tl;dr" because of it. >:)

Heidi said...

What the f does "tl;dr" mean?

Anonymous said...

I, too, would like to know the answer to the "tl;dr" conundrum.

Let me add that I also believe that Kristi is The Funny (or, alternatively, a reincarnation and/or second coming thereof) and I look forward to the day of judgment wherein she shall be seated at the right hand of the father and cast the unfunny to eternal damnation.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Anonymous,

Thank you for your comments---Kristi did sound familiar.

Do I work with you by chance?

Anonymous said...

Esteemed Anonymous Deuce:

I do work with Kristi at her night job at the Moody Bible Institute. I believe you work there as well. We're janitors, right?


Anonymous said...

A bloat of hippopotami upon you all!

Anonymous said...

Hello there Steve:

No. I actually work at the Tempermental Bible Institute (Tempermental is a synonym of Moody so I can see why that would be confusing to ooou). In fact, it is as easy as confusing a "fall of woodcocks" and a "descent of woodpeckers."

Good tidings to you and your vacuumous ways!