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Monday, September 06, 2010

A Load of Compromisin' on the Road to my Horizon

I wonder if this feeling will ever pass because apparently I write about it every year.  My life and all its responsibilities have crept up and caged me.  Mostly I'm settled that it's how things have to be right now.  But damn if every August/September my desire for a change doesn't peak.  Watching people everywhere go back to school and start a new chapter of their lives floods me with jealousy.  I don't even know that I necessarily want to go back to school.  I don't know what I'd study.  I don't know how I'd find time TO study.  But I just know that every year around this time, the fact that I've been living in the same place for 6 years, and have had the same job for the majority of that time really hits me hard and I want to shed my skin and move on.

Sometimes I stand still long enough to notice that everything around me has completely changed.  The daily routine keeps changing as the kids get older.  Evolution is constant and goes unnoticed, unappreciated because it's wrapped in the same familiar packaging.  Friendships change--grow and shrink, rotate, move to the forefront and step out of the limelight--with the ebbs and flows of life.  A cross section of my life would reveal layer upon layer of changes--good times and bad, great friends, rich experiences.  For all that, I'm very lucky. 

I'm pretty sure that the desire for change still burns to remind me that my work here is not done.  It keeps me on my toes, ready for the next big adventure, whenever that may come along.  In the meantime, I suppose I should try to enjoy this same old, same old.  For all I know, it may be the calm before the storm.

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