Inconvenience store

I'm highly troubled by the fact that the Walgreens near my house has the gall to call itself a convenience store. There is absolutely nothing convenient about it (except the three most important things--location, location, location). No matter what I go there for, they do not have it, no matter how simple the request.

For instance, a while back I went there to get some potato chips--just plain old potato chips. They didn't have any. They were sold out of the name brand potato chips. They were sold out of the generic potato chips. They were sold out of the flavored potato chips. They were even sold out of the individual packs of chips. Finally, I spy one can of Pringles--not exactly what I had in mind, but OK. I pick them up and realize why they're still on the shelf--the can has been run over by a Mack truck. Lovely. So...that was probably strike one.

Then there was the one hour photo incident. "It's going to be about 4 hours--is that OK?" Then the guy takes my name, which I carefully spelled out for him, and types it in wrong--both first and last. Nice to meet you, I'm Krystie. Yes, it used to Kristi, but Andrzej at Walgreens really thought that Krystie became me. The name part I actually thought was kind of funny, but why do I have to still pay premium prices for 1-hour photo if it's going to take them all friggin day to get it done?

I think next came the morning incident. I was on the road around 7:30 one morning thinking, "MUST. HAVE. CAFFEINE." I'm all annoyed thinking that there's nowhere to stop that isn't out of my way, but then low and behold, Walgreens pops into my field of vision like an oasis. "Is it open this early?" I wonder. Then I see the sign: "Now open at 7am Mon.-Fri.!" Splendid! I park my car and try to run inside, only to be met by an automatic door that won't budge. I came *thisclose* to actually walking into it. I peek in and there's not a soul to be seen. Fantastic. Just effin' fantastic.

Never minding the fact that that's already strike three, like an idiot I keep going back, thinking it can't possibly get any worse. Yet somehow, it does. Next incident...I go in for stamps and realize I'm thirsty too. I go to grab a Coke and there is none. There's no brand name soda whatsoever, for that matter--it's all sold out. I can get Walgreens brand Cola or Grape Soda, or a real Chicago favorite--"Red Pop", though. Red pop scares me, but that's a story for another day. Meanwhile back at the ranch, I take my suspect-looking cherry lemonade to the counter and I ask the guy for stamps. He gets really nervous looking and picks up the phone, pages a manager then slams the phone down. Then, without waiting for the manager, he picks up a clear plastic envelope marked "Stamps", which is clearly empty, and reaches into it as though he might find a handful of those special magic invisible stamps to sell me. When he comes up with nothing, he says, "Uh, we don't have any stamps right now," almost like a question with an implied, "Did you want to wait until we get some more?" So I tell him to take the cherry lemonade and shove it up his ass and I leave. I get out to my car and I promise myself that I will never set foot in there again. But it didn't last long.

Last weekend, as I was headed out for dinner, I remember that most Walgreens have Bank One ATMs, which just happens to be my bank. I'm thinking, OK, this doesn't have anything to do with Walgreens itself, I just need to use the ATM, it will be fine. Well, of course it wasn't. It wasn't like the machine was out of cash--it just wasn't even hooked up, or plugged in or something. WTF? So, so, so annoying. I swear to you that I'm never going in there again. I swear to you. (Hey guys, I'm running over to walgreens--does anybody need anything?)