Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Death by gyros

The firm ordered Greek food for lunch today for everybody, and apparently chaos ensued. I wasn't there at lunch time, but one of my lovely coworkers was nice enough to make a plate for me--a plate which, might I add, had to be fiercely defended over the course of the evening. So, for dinner, I ate the food, which consisted of gyros ("yee-rohs". yeah, that's right.), chicken souvlaki (Dear Greeks, I'm sorry for maybe misspelling your words, but at least I can pronouce gyros. Love, Kristi) and some Greek potatoes.

All in all, the food was excellent. But, oh man. A few hours have passed, and the gyros stank is still with me. I might as well have been thrown on a spit, infused with spiciness and spun for hours myself because, right now? I'm pretty much one with the gyro. That's the thing about gyros--they are SO GOOD...every once in a while. Unless you maybe have a digestive system made of steel or diamond or which point, you're probably eating lots of popcorn, peanuts and cotton candy, because you're obviously a circus freak.

In other related (but not by way of the digestive tract) news, the lovely coworker who made the plate of food for me, surprise! happens to be Greek. She was telling me recently that she may be visiting Greece this summer for a few weeks. She explained that a friend of hers was trying to convince her to visit the island of Crete while she was there. This friend, she said, was convinced that they would be able to travel to Crete for as little as 20 Euros. Except, in my mind, they were traveling to Crete for as little as 20 gyros.

So, I'm thinking, Man, these backwards-ass Greeks and their weird bartering systems. I wonder if they're going to have some shaggy old farmer guy row them to Crete in some broken down boat. And, for their sake, I hope that guy doesn't eat all 40 gyros before they leave. Yuck. Talk about death by gyros!

Anyway, I wonder how you say, "Stupid American," in Greek.

[The google image search brought up this picture when I searched for "gyros." This happens to be the place I now go to based on Coworkeropolis' recommendation. It's on Central Ave., just south of Belmont in Chicago. Go there. You will not be disappointed!]


elisa said...

I never knew how to pronounce that word till just now. Thanks!

Weird, I used to work at a law firm and we used to sometimes order Greek food from this little place downtown called Paul's - I always got the Macedonian (sp?) salad and it was deeeelicious!

Anonymous said...

Kudos for you for being brave enough to share this story with the world, but not generous enough to share your plate of food with your ravenous coworkers. Those people sound awful except maybe for that Greek lady. I would love to hear how ended up getting rid of your gyros-laden indigestion. I always suggest a combination of sleeping, breathing into a paper bag, hormone or gene replacement therapy to actually change your body's chemical composition (and thereby acquiring all kinds of crazy powers), and writing a letter to the appropriate senator who would be responsible for changing policies towards gene therapy and related issues. Only with that kind of a comprehensive, multi-layered plan of attack could one ever hope to take on gyros-indigestion and survive. Best, Steve

Kristi said...

Awesome! Way to be anonymous, "Steve"

Dr. Vortex said...

Bwahahaha, you blew it Steve...
I think I drank too much coffee.

MARIA said...

Well that Anonymous sure is a "malakas" as we Greeks say!!!!!
I have no idea what's going on there,but here in Crete Gyros is fucking great!And they make it even bigger!Can do something though to non Greek stomachs!!
I believe that your Greek friend there should have said something to you like......"Troge siga hazi Americana"!!!!And that is "Eat slow Stupid American".Do not take any of the above the wrong way,besides anonymous is unbeatable in the "wicked commentary" field.What;s Kudos anyway?Oh and one last thing.....anonymous bite your anonymous tongue and please come visit us here in Crete sometime.We can teach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!