Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I just want to bang on the drums all day.

OK, I just got back from lunch and I'm noticing that all the people who left before me are not back yet. OK, that's fine. It's not like I really care, but. BUT. I know that the one day I do decide to take some liberties with my lunch "hour," everybody else will be back on time and they will collectively raise their eyebrows at my tardiness. That's just the way it goes. It's just my luck (which is bad, in case you were wondering. Case in point: no matter what check-out aisle I choose, it's always the slowest. The equipment malfunctions, the person in front of me decides to do an "instant credit" to save 10%, or they have they have an item with no tag, and no matching item can be found...).

OK, so today's quick rant: (OK, I've been saving it since Saturday, but whatever)

Father's Day Cards

The way I see it, you have two options: sappy or funny. OK, my dad's not really a sappy kind of guy, so I go for funny. But the problem with the funny cards is that none of them are geared toward my dad. He's not completely inept when it comes to fixing things (in fact, quite the opposite is true). He's not into fishing very much. He's golfs a little bit, but is not obsessed. He's not an extreme disciplinarian. He's not a major tightwad. He's not obsessed with TV or the remote and he doesn't even have a recliner. So, right there, I just ruled out every possible funny card choice. But, this year I actually did find a suitable card-a card for the man who is obsessed with maintaining his home and fleet. Yay! My dad will probably get the same card for the next 17 years.


Heidi said...

A solution to your lunchtime dilemma: Leave just slightly later than the majority of your coworkers. That way they'll see you there when they leave and they'll have no idea what time you left, so if you come back later than them, they'll just assume you left later too!

Anonymous said...

Actually I heard some rumor that you have been taking 4 hour lunches at a cigar bar called Harry's Velvet Room. I believe that one way to quell this rumor would involve the donation of a capuccino blast from Baskin Robbins(with whip cream but no cinnamon). This message has been pre-approved by a portion of the anonymous commenter possee.

Ahhh Yes and I would like a T Bell Burrito with that.

Kristi said...

Dear Anonymous,
Need I remind you that your true identity remains a mystery to me? While I would love nothing more than to regale you with gifts of the capuccino blast and "T Bell" variety, I would have no idea how to find you to give you such treats. It's truly a shame!


PS Ix-nay on the arry's-Hay elvet-Vay oom-Ray!!! Do you want to get me fired!?!

Heidi said...

You mean ired-fay?

Anonymous said...


Tis true, you do not know my true identity. Therefore, I shall remedy this situation by forwarding to you a map of a secret location where you can leave your offerings.

Thank you in advance for your courtesies.